Total Drama Reality
by District 715
Summary: Faithful fans of Total Drama Island rejoice! Complete! See the sequel, Total Drama Spies!
1. Preview of the season

Chris McClain: (Standing on the Dock of Shame: zoom in) Welcome to Total Drama Reality, starring... YOU! Yes, YOU! You guys are going to spend 6, count em, six weeks on a god-forsaken island in the middle of Canada, (pulls out map, magnifies island with magnifying glass) where you could win ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (music switches to dramatic as Chris' eyebrows furrow and he frowns) However... there are 15 other teens playing for the same prize, and they're no pattycakes, either. (smiles evilly) Pluus, Chef Hatchet ( pan to Chef grinning and sharpening knife) plans to make it as hard as possible for you to stay in.(switches back to chris) Now, the format of the entry letter should be as such:

**Application Form:**

**Name (First and Last)- **

**Nickname (if any)- **

**Gender-**

**Age-**

**Stereotype-**

**Appearance:**

**Hair (style and colour)- **

**Eyes-**

**Skin Tone- **

**Height-**

**Weight-**

**Build-**

**Other (Birthmarks, Freckles, Piercing, Tattoos, etc)-**

**Clothes:**

**Everyday-**

**Swimwear-**

**Party Clothes (not formal)-**

**Pjs-**

**Accessories-**

**Personality-**

**Treatment to campers when they first arrive-**

**What is she/he like around friends?-**

**What is she/he like around people they don't like?-**

**Like-**

**Dislikes-**

**Weak points-**

**Strong points-**

**Talents-**

**Phobia (s)-**

**Why are they scared of this?-**

**Paired up?-**

**If yes with who-**

**Will they be in romantic denial?-**

**How do they flirt?-**

**Past-**

**Family and friends (will be using it for message from home to the final five)-**

**Medical conditions-**

**Challenge request/suggestion-**

**Audition tape (don't have to do this but it gives you a better chance of getting in)-**

(back to Chris) Ah-ha!(Boat comes in to deliver mail, Chris notices one letter fall out, picks it up, looks at it funny) This seems to be from our sponsor. (opens and reads letter, his smile getting wider and wider) We have our first contestant: Paul James Griffin. That's all I can tell,you, though. By the way, our sponsor...(digs into pocket) ...doesn't like...(digs deeper)...AHA! (pulls out paper and reads)

Relations to past contestants,

The same basic guy/girl over and over,

Past character runoffs,

Swearing (that includes you, Chef) (Chef growls)

Or any racism or discrimination...

That's about it.

So... Send in some submission forms, (above) or just sit back and watch... (Camera pulls back for dramatic effect after each word)

Total

Drama

Reality!


	2. The Chosen Ones for now

Chris Mc Clain: (Stands on Dock of Shame) So, we found five more contestants, dropping the total spaces left to ten: They are:

Ted Estes: the Gambler

Raquel Rose: the Down to Earth Cute Girl

Juliet Dewgreen: the Smart _and_ Popular Girl

Ryan Mitchell: the Tough (heh heh) Short Guy

Jay Matthews: the Cool Dude

(back to Chris)Sooooo... send in more people for

Total

Drama

Island!

Chef: Do you _really _need to do that?

Chris: Yes. Yes, I do.


	3. Meet the Campers Revised

Chris McClain: (Walks onto the Dock of Shame) We have found all sixteen contestants for a totally awesome season of Total Drama Reality. Here comes the first one:

(Boat comes up with a cute short dark-brown-haired girl with green eyes, a pink tank top, and bright green shorts.)

Chris: Hello, Tierney.

Tierney: Hi, Chris! (runs up and hugs him: Chris winces)

Chris: Ooookkkaaaayy... Let's see the next contestant.

(Boat comes up with someone else)

Chris: What's up, Damien?

Damien: (Surveys Landscape)THIS is the place we're expected to compete? Lame-o.

Chris:(eyes Damien suspiciously)

(boat comes up)

(a thin , blonde girl steps on dock)

Lauren: O- M-G! O-m-g, o-m-g, o-m-g, o-m-g! I'm on Total Drama Reality!

(hugs Damien)

(Damien smiles to himself)

*Confessional*

Damien: I've found my first sucker.

*End confessional*

(Avery comes on-dock)

Avery: What up, my homies?

(Damien glares at him)

*Confessional*

Avery: That guy needs to take a chill pill.

*End confessional*

Chris: Glad to see ya, Avery.

(Nathan 's boat comes in, playing Carribiean music)

Nathan: Yo, people, Nathan is in the house!

(gives everyone a high five except Damien, Damien ignoring his attempts)

(Tierney looks at him and blushes)

*Confessional*

Tierney: He's so cute!

*End confessional*

(Madison Andrews comes up)

Madison: Hi. (Nathan looks at her nicely)

(Florence comes up, smiles at Avery, glares at Damien)

(Boat comes up with a tough,handsomely tan guy in an Army cameoflauge uniform, with black hair and dark blue eyes)

Chris: Welcome to Camp Wanawaka, Paul.

Paul: Hi, guys. (salutes everyone, ghazes around, then runs in Chris's direction, Chris puts out a hand) Hi man! (runs past Chris before shaking Chef Hatchet's hand) My dad served with you! (turns to Chris) And look, if it isn't the most celebrated reality show host, Chris McClain.

Chris: Thanks, man!

(Madison Larker comes on-dock)

Madison: Ummm... is this where we're staying?

Chris: You bet it is! Like it?

Madison: Not really...

(Chris frowns)

(Chelsa appears)

Chelsa: Hi, guys! My name is Chesapeake Weasley.

(Ted appears)

Ted: Who wants to play cards?

Damien: I'll pass.

Paul: I guess so...

(Beauitiful Puerto Rican girl walks onto the deck)

(Every guy but but Paul stares at her )

*Confessional*

Paul: I've learned to resist a woman's charms.

*End Confessional*

Paul: Afternoon. (Tips hat to Raquel)

*Confessional*

Raquel: He's the one.

*End Confessional*

(Jay jumps onto the dock)

Jay: This is the place, all right.

(Juliet follows him)

Juliet: Yep.

Chris: Last, but not least, (yet) Ryan, (heh heh) Mitchell

Ryan: Sigh. Why do I always get the stupid ones?

Chris: And what is _that_ supposed to mean?

(Ryan grunts)

(Chris does a head count)

Chris: You're all here. Good. Now, let's split you up into teams.

Ted, Paul, Damien (Glares at Damien) both Madisons, Raquel, Nathan, and Tierney. (Hands Paul a poster) You will be known as the Screaming Sharks.

The rest of you: Lauren, Avery, Florence, Chelsa , Jay, Juliet, Ryan... (Chris frowns) We're missing someone.(checks list as boat pulls up with Madison Larker)

Madison L.: Hi! Sorry I'm late, but the captain ran into some difficulties.

(Flashback: Fifty foot tall waves)

Chris: Lauren, Avery, Florence, Chelsa , Jay, Juliet, Ryan and Madison L, you will be known as (Throws Avery a poster)the Blazing Bonfires.

Ryan: Bonfires. Whoopee.

(Flashes forward to the cabins)

Chris: The first challenge will be to destroy the opposing teams cabin with either a bazooka, dynamite, gas and fire, chainsaws,or a car crash.

Then you must rebuild your own in (checks watch) five hours. Bonfires, choose a weapon.

(Bonfires huddle up)

Ryan: Bazooka.

Avery: Definetly.

(Bonfires break)

Jay: The bazooka.

(Sharks frown)

Chris: Sharks?

(Sharks huddle)

(Sharks break)

Damien: Chainsaws.

(Bonfires grin)

Chris: Chef, Aim the bazooka for the Bonfires' cabin.

Juliet: What? (confused) They chose the chainsaws.

Chris:( evil grin) Oops. I forgot to mention that you chose what the enemy will use on _your_ cabin. My bad.

(Bonfires gape in horror)

*Confessional*

Ryan: Wow. He really _is_ evil.

*End Confessional*

(Chef aims and fires bazooka.)

*Confessional*

Avery: I almost cried.

*End Confessional*

(Cabin Explodes)

Chris: (Laying on beach chair with drink in hand) What a nice backdrop for drinking Pina Coladas.

Chef: All in a day's work.

(Chef grabs a chainsaw and slices through the Sharks' cabin)

(buzzing)

-------------------------

(Sharks' cabin in ruins)

Chris: Get to work. Best cabin gets a repair crew to finish the job.

------------------------

(1 hour later)

(Paul brings logs to build walls. Damien sits on a log and he won't budge.)

Paul: Get to work. we've got a cabin to build.

Damien: Build, shmild. Do it yourself.

Paul: This is a team, so _everyone_ on the team works. Get up.

Damien: Make me.

(Paul lifts Damien up and places him on his feet.)

Paul: Good enough, _Drama Queen?_

(Damien glares at him and picks up a log.

-----------------------

(4 hours later)

(Sharks' cabin is large and strong, while the Bonfires' didn't have time for a roof.)

(Chris looks both over)

Chris: The Sharks win!

(Sharks cheer)

----------------------

Chris: The Sharks pulled off a victory with teamwork...from most of the campers, but the Bonfires will be close on their tails.

Next time on TDR:

Chris: (blows football whistle) Let's play some football!

(now)

Will the Sharks be able to hold their lead? Will Paul convince Damien to put his nose to the grindstone, or will Damien Drama-king his way to the top?

Will the short in stature Ryan ever catch a pass?

Ryan: I HEARD THAT!

Chris: find out all this and more on the next episode of

Total

Drama

Reality!


	4. Football, Football, Football!

Chris Mclain: Last time on Total Drama Reality:

(Flashback)

We met the campers, including one which I intend to keep my eye on.(Chris glaring at Damien) Then, the Screaming Sharks and Blazing Bonfires duked it out in a cabin building contest, while I got to learn just how good a Pina Colada is with an explosion in the background. (Cabin exploding) It seems that Paul and Damien are having teamwork problems. Find out what will happen next on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

6:00 AM- (Chris points at a Megaphone in his hand with an evil smile, he's about to use the foghorn when a bugle plays , waking the campers up, and disappointing Chris)

Paul: (puts down Bugle)To the mess, Sharks! (Runs to the mess hall)

(Campers pour out of the cabins, groaning)

Avery: What's up with you, man? I haven't even had my morning Coke yet!

Damien: Yeah! I need my beauty sleep!

Tierney: What's for breakfast?

Chris: Whatever Chef decides to make.(laughs)

(Flash to mess hall)

Chef: I make it, you eat it. UNDERSTAND?

Assorted Campers: Yes, sir.

(Chef drops a spoonfull of mystery meat on Lauren's plate. She sits down and starts eating. Ted gets his meal and swallows hard.)

Ted: We're supposed to EAT this?

(Chef grabs a Garotte wire and stretches it out.)

(Ted sits down and eats)

Lauren: This is great! Did I tell everyone about my peircing on my belly buttton?

(Madison A. looks up quizzicly)

(Nathan finishes his meal and looks at Madison A.)

Nathan: What are you doing?

Madison A.: (building birdfeeder ) Building a birdfeeder. I hate it when people waste bottles and cans.

Nathan: (looks at birdfeeder) It's nice.

Madison A.: (blushes) You really think so?

Nathan: Yep.

(Madison A. twirls her hair unconsiously)

(Damien glares at them and starts thinking up a plan)

(Chris comes in and blows a football whistle) Time to play some football!

Flo: Yay!

Avery: All right! (gives Flo a hi- five)

(flashes to football field)

Chris: This is a flag football game, but as long as you keep the viewers coming back, there are no rules, except for these three:

You get five plays to get from your starting point to the end zone, and as soon as the plays have been expended or you score, you give it to the opponent.

The play ends as soon as someone gets the ball into their end zone or someone pulls your flags,

And a touchdown is worth one point.

Chris: The game ends once one team scores three points, or the other guys surrender. GO!

(Ted dives for the ball)

*Confessional*

Ted: I have allergies to certain types of grass, and even though I take medicine for it, it caused the most hilarious thing I ever saw! (laughs)

* End Confessional*

Ted:Ah-ah-ah

(others dive for ball, surround Ted)

Ted: AH-CHOO!

( many screams)

Damien: GetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoff!

(Chris Laughs)

Chris: He sneezed on the ball! Oh, MAN!

(continues laughing)

Chelsea: This is just like that time with Ron and the slugs!

Madison L.: Yeah! What?

Ryan: Oh ****!

Chris: NO SWEARING! Don't get me kicked off the air!

Damien: Isn't that the idea?

(Chris glares at him again)

(Avery runs with the ball, holding it in his shirt)

Damien: Paul! Get him!

(Paul rolls his eyes, but he runs and grabs Avery by the legs, causing him to fumble)

(Raquel picks up the ball and throws it toward Madison L., who starts running the wrong way)

Ted: (sniffs) Tat wy! TAT WY! (points in the other direction)

(Madison L. throws it to Nathan, but it's picked off somehow by Ryan, who passes it to Jay)

Chris: Wow. The short guy caught something.

Ryan: Shut up, Chris!

(Jay throws it to Juliet, who tosses it to Chelsa. Chelsa runs into the end zone.)

Chris: AND THE BONFIRES DRAW FIRST BLOOD!

Madison L.: Oops.

Damien: It's okay.

*Confessional*

Nathan: I smell a rat.

* End Confessional*

(Sharks possesion)

Damien: Hut!

(Paul blocks Avery from tackling Nathan as Nathan gets the ball and runs past Juliet and dodges Jay)

Chris: The twenty, fifteen, ten, TOUCHDOWN!

(High fives all around on the Sharks)

(Damien winks at Raquel, Jay frowns)

Chris: Next score wins!

Ryan: What?

Chris: I changed the rules.

(groans)

(Bonfires Possesion)

Jay: Go!

(Paul runs in, but is shoved away by Avery)

(Jay throws a long bomb to Ryan)

Damien: Madison!

Madison L.: What?

(Ryan catches the pass and runs into the end zone.)

Chris: TOUCHDOWN! THE BONFIRES WIN!

(Bonfires cheer)

Damien: Madison! (frowns)

Madison L.: What's wrong?

Ted (ANGRY) : You let them win!

Madison A.(MAD) : Yeah!

----------------------------

Chris: Time to vote off your weakest link. Go to the Confessional Booth to knock off the teamate you like the least.

(Votes cast)

Chris: These are the marshmallows that signify life, fun, and survival on this beiutiful island of Wanawaka.

(Wretching noises in the crowd)

Chris (glaring them down): Laugh if you want. I wouldn't expect you mere mortals to understand it. The survivors are...

Damien

Paul

Ted

Raquel

Nathan

Madison A.

(Dramatic music with a cutscene between Madison L. and Tierney)

Chris: Tierney!

Madison L.:What? I'm your friend!

(Chef drags her onto the Boat of Losers)

Madison L.: Bye!

-------------------------

Chris: So, the Sharks knocked off Madison due to her uinaction in the football game. Next time on Total Drama Reality:

(Flash Forward)

Chris: For your next challenge, you will have to climb this 1,000 foot tall cliff, looking for a flag on the face of the sheer rock!

(Now)

Will Damien get Raquel? Will the Sharks be defeated again? Find out next time on

Total

Drama

Reality!


	5. Of TV and Potato Chips

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Reality:

(Flashback)

Damien: Madison!

Madison L.: What?

(Ryan catches the pass and runs into the end zone.) (Chris: Madison failed her team by not stopping Ryan,)

(cut)

Ted (ANGRY) : You let them win! (Chris: Causing grief to her team.)

Madison A.(MAD) : Yeah!

(cut)

(Dramatic music with a cutscene between Madison L. and Tierney)

Chris: Tierney!

(cut)

(Chef drags her onto the Boat of Losers)(Chris: She was voted off, leaving the Sharks one girl down.)

Madison L.: Bye!

(End Flashback)

Will the Sharks lose another person? Will Paul and Damien actually get along? Will , uhh, 'Chesapeake Weasley' _ever_ get a life?

Find out the answers to this and more next on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

(Cut to Cabins)

Chris: I got up extra early to wake up Paul.

(raises foghorn)

Paul: 'Morning, Chris.

(Chris lowers the foghorn and looks at the camera. He turns and squints quizzicly at Paul)

Paul: Chris?...

(Chris goes back to normal)

(Ryan walks by)

Ryan: Hi, Paul.

Paul: Hi.

Ryan: Wanna play cards with Ted, Avery, and me?

Paul: Sure. (they leave)

Chris: The guys don't to seem to have a problem with having friends on enemy teams. (smiles) Unlike the girls...

(cut to girls)

Juliet: Flo, you can't be friends with Tierney.

Florence: Why not?

Juliet: She's on the other team? Maybe?

Florence: She's nice!

Juliet: That's what she wants you to think! She wants you to trust her, and bring you down! Understand?

Florence: (grumbles) Yes...

(Damien has been eavesdropping from behind a cabin)

Damien (thinks): I do, too. Time to bring my plan into action.

(cuts to the Dock of Shame)

(Florence is sitting at the dock. Damien walks up to her.)

Damien: Hey, Flo.

(Florence looks up in surprise and glares at Damien)

Damien: I'm here to strike a deal.

Florence (interested): I'm listening...

Damien: If you help me, you can throw the challenge in such a way that Juliet is kicked off, leaving you able to have your friends on the other team. Do we have a deal?

Florence: (thinks for a second) Deal.

(They shake hands)

(cuts to the beach with everyone in their swimsuits)

Chris: The first challenge is to swim in the lake until you find a rock spray-painted gold. Choose a teammate to hunt for the rock, get it, then head over to the next challenge.

Madison A.: How about you, Nathan?

Nathan: (blushes) Sure.

Avery: I'll go for the Bonfires.

(cut to the start)

Chris: Ready, set...

(waits two seconds)

Chris: set...set... set...

Avery (T.) Get on with it!

Chris: GO!

(Nathan jumps in)

(Avery glares at Chris before jumping in)

( Nathan comes out with a gold rock)

Chris: The Sharks win the first challenge! Run over to the cliff!

(Avery comes out with the gold rock in time to see the Sharks arrive at the next challenge.)

(cut to cliff)

Chris: For your next challenge, you will have to climb this 1,000 foot tall cliff, looking for a flag on the face of the sheer rock! Come down to proceed to your next challenge.

Paul: I'm going.

(Paul gets in suit and starts climbing)

Ryan: I'm up!(grabs suit)

(Florence whispers to Juliet)

(Paul jumps from rock to rock with ease.)

Juliet: (grabs suit from Ryan) You'd probably have a hard time reaching six inches. (puts on suit)

(Ryan glares at Juliet)

*Confessional*

Ryan: I hate it when people call me short. I think that would be apparent. I've been fighting my height every day of my life, and I deplore people who insinuate me as being weak.

*End Confessional*

(Paul finds flag and climbs across to it)

(Juliet climbs quickly)

(Paul grabs flag and jumps down )

Paul: I got it!

(Juliet slips and falls, stuck upside down)

Juliet: HELP!

Paul (Jumping down, helping her up) : One word: Karma.

(Paul reaches the bottom and gets out of the suit)

(Juliet struggles to climb up, but finds flag)

(cut to forest)

Chris: This challenge involves finding five letters that spell out a word. Unscramble the word and then head for the cabins.

(Sharks run into forest)

(cut to cliff)

Juliet (reaching for the flag): Just one...more...inch!(misses, then grabs the flag)

Chelsea: Finally! Now, get down here, Harry!

Juliet: WHAT? (drops flag) No!

(flag falls into the lake, where sharks eat it.)

Chris: Ouch... well, I guess you can go on to the next challenge, but you'll have a disability in the final challenge.

(Bonfires glare at her )

Juliet: What?

Ryan: If Paul hadn't helped you, you would have gotten stuck there!

(Cut to forest)

Ted: I found two!

Paul: I found one!

Madison L.: I found one, too!

Raquel: (looks around) There's one! (points at a tree)

(Damien grabs it)

(cut to Chris and Sharks)

Damien(looks at leters): Wait a minute! (grabs letters) C-H-R-I-S! (Glares at Chris)

Chris: Whaddaya expect? Your next challenge is to find a key in your cabin. Bring it to me for your prize.

(Bonfires find letters and unscramble them)

Chris: Since Juliet lost the flag, you guys must find a key in your cabin _blindfolded. _

(Bonfires groan.)

Avery(to Juliet): This is your fault!

(cut to Sharks)

(Paul looks in the cabinet)

Paul: Not here!

(Raquel looks in her bedsheets)

Raquel: Not in here!

(Damien looks under his pillow)

Damien: The key! (runs out to Chris)

(assorted groans from the Bonfire Cabin)

Chris: Sharks, you have found the key, and therefore, the prize: A widescreen T.V. and enough goodies to last you the night, which happens to be a movie night for the Sharks: _Gone with the Wind_. Enjoy the sweet taste of victory... and potato chips.

(Sharks cheer while Bonfires boo)

Chris: Bonfires, I'll see you at the vote-off tonight. Sharks: Get ready for the night of your life!

(Sharks cheer, and Raquel kisses Paul; Paul blushes.)

---------------------------------------

Chris: You know the drill. Cast your votes.

*View Poll*

Ryan: Juliet. Hands-down.

Avery: Juliet.

Chelsea: Harry-I mean, Juliet.

Jay: Juliet. Bad vibes, girl. Bad vibes.

Flo: Perfect. Juliet. Now let's see you mess with my friends.

*End View Poll*

Chris:And the survivors are:

Ryan

Flo

Chelsa

Jay  
Avery

Lauren

(Dramatic music between Madison L. and Juliet)

Chris: Madison.

Juliet: Hmmph. Let's see how you survive without me. (Jumps into the Boat of Losers)

------------------------------------------

Chris: Next time on Total Drama Reality:

(Flash forward)

Chris: Who likes Mariokart?

Lauren: Me!

Chris: Good, because you'll be doing some battle racing. With cars you build yourselves!

(Now)

Chris: Will relationships spark? Will Damien think up another feiendish plan? Will I ever get finished with this so I can watch _Gone with the Wind_?

Find out the answers to all this and more on the next episode of

Total

Drama

Reality!


	6. Wacky Races

Chris Mclain: Last time on Total Drama Reality:

**(Flashback)**

Juliet: (grabs suit from Ryan) You'd probably have a hard time reaching six inches. (puts on suit)

(Ryan glares at Juliet)

*Confessional*

Ryan: I hate it when people call me short. I think that would be apparent. I've been fighting my height every day of my life, and I deplore people who insinuate me as being weak.

*End Confessional*

(flash forward)

(Juliet slips and falls, stuck upside down)

Juliet: HELP!

**( Chris: Juliet failed her team, the Bonfire Cabin, causing them to vote her off,)**

(Dramatic music between Madison L. and Juliet)

Chris: Madison.

Juliet: Hmmph. Let's see how you survive without me. (Jumps into the Boat of Losers)

**(And the Sharks celebrated their win with the greatest movie night ever, )**

Chris: Sharks, you have found the key, and therefore, the prize: A widescreen T.V. and enough goodies to last you the night, which happens to be a movie night for the Sharks: _Gone with the Wind_. Enjoy the sweet taste of victory... and potato chips.

(Sharks cheer while Bonfires boo)

Chris: Bonfires, I'll see you at the vote-off tonight. Sharks: Get ready for the night of your life!

**(**_**Including**_** a romantic finale with Paul and Raquel.)**

(Sharks cheer, and Raquel kisses Paul; Paul blushes.)

**(Now)**

Chris: Will tempers rise and fall? Will Paul and Raquel get together, or will Damien defeat them with an evil plan?

Find out next on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

(Chris walks out of the mess hall with Chef Hatchet)

Chris: I wake up at four o' clock and find him eating breakfast.

Chef Hatchet: Paul is an early bird, I guess.

(Chris blows foghorn)

(Cut to mess hall with everyone dressed)

Chris: Who likes Mariokart?

Lauren: Me!

Chris: Good, because you'll be doing some battle racing. With cars you build yourselves!

(Mixed cheers and boos)

Chris: You have a choice of three engines, three bodies, and three wheel types:

**Three choices of engine**

**Balanced**

**Speed**

**Strength( for hills)**

**Three tire choices:**

**Balanced **

**Racetrack**

**Off-road**

**Three body choices:**

**Light (speed)**

**Medium(balanced)**

**Heavy (for road battles)**

**27 total possibilities**

Choose two members from your team to race around the lake in a course Chef built for us so nicely.

(The course is spiked with oil slicks, shark pools, and hammer-shaped rubber pendalums.)

Chris: The race will be Mariokart Double Dash style: There will be a driver and a defender. The driver must concentrate on going around the ractrack, so the defender must 'take care' of the other team. There are dodgeballs, speed boosters, and paintball guns at your disposal.

Paul: Yessss!

There are three races in the circuit, and we will go to other tracks for those. Every winning team _must_ change their driver and passenger. Either team can modify their car after the last race and before the next one.

Sharks: Nathan (def.) and Madison A. (driver) Totally balanced

Bonfire: Avery (def.) and Ryan (driver) All terrain, heavy

Chris: (blows a foghorn) Go!

(Both Defenders jump in)

Chris(dictating race):The sharks come off first, but the Bonfires are coming up fast. Those tires are coming in handy on the gravel. The Sharks have picked up their special object: a Sharkball, or a dodgeball filled with water. Nathan aims, fires, misses! Oooh! That was close!

Madison A.: Did you get 'em?

Nathan: No! Watch out for-

(Sharks crash into a rubber pendalum)

Chris: Ouuuch! That's gotta bite!

(Bonfires pass Sharks and cross the finish line)

Chris:The Bonfire Cabin wins the first race! 10 points for the Bonfire cabin.

**Sharks 0**

**Bonfires 10**

Ted: That was short...

(Track:25 meters long)

Chris... as was the track. Future tracks will be longer. Much longer.

(Same cars, different tracks)

Paul: Damien, you drive.

Damien: What?

Paul: They didn't say we couldn't switch drivers.

Damien: Gp.

Paul: What?

Damien: Good point.

Madison A.: What?

(Paul and Damien switch with Madison and Nathan)

Paul: Sorry, guys.

(Flo and Jay drive for the Bonfire team)

(Switches to the forest)

Chris: This is the cliff track, so named for the precarious drop halfway through. You can't race through the blocked off terrain, though you can go through the holes in the wall. Literally.

(Switches to prepared racers)

Chris: Go!

(Paul and Jay are neck and neck as drivers, bumping the carts into each other, while Flo and Damien are having a sissy fight in the back.)

(Damien falls off balance, so Paul has to swerve in order to catch him.)

(Jay and Flo take the lead)

Paul: Damien! I have good news and bad news.

Damien: Good news first!

Paul: We're going to win!

Damien: Great! What's the bad news?

Paul: We're probably not going to survive.

(cut to Chris, down by the beach and finish line)

Chris (with binoculars): Is Paul going to... No way! He is!

(Paul swerves toward the cliff)

*Confessional*

Paul: If I had even _considered_ the possibility of doing that _before_ the race started, I would have laughed it off, but considering the outrageous circumstances and the pressure I was under, I really had no choice.

*End Confessional*

(Shark's car drives off the cliff and free-falls toward the beach. You can hear Damien screaming for miles.)

(When the car hits the beach, it bounce/rolls its way across the finish line.)

Paul: Nice supension.

Chris: And the Sharks win the second race! Paul, because of that awesome stunt, I'm going to award you 10 points for coming first, five points for the stunt, and five points for _survivng_ the stunt, giving you a grand total of twenty points.

(Sharks cheer)

**Sharks 20**

**Bonfires 10**

Chris: Chef will guide you to the next track. (to chef) Where _is_ the next track?

Chef (grinning): You'll see.

*Confessional*

Ted: I was seriously curious. What would Chef pick?

*End Confessional*

(switch to the inside of Chris's cabin)

Chef: Go down the hall, through the bathroom, the den, onto the balcony, past the hot tub, into the dining room, then you'll see the finish line. You lose points for destroying stuff. Ready, set, go!

(Cars pull away, showing Chris tied to a chair)

Chris: No bonus for you, then.

(Chef shrugs)

----------------------------------------

(Chris pulling off ropes)

Chris: Since the Sharks destroyed the least amount of stuff, I declare them the winners!

(Sharks cheer)

Chris (frowning): Whoopdeedo. Now, let's see how much I have to take out of Chef's paycheck. Bonfires: What can I say? Meet you at the campfire, then.

---------------------------------------

Chris: These are the marshmellows of life, blah blah blah... And go cast your votes.

---------------------------------------

Chris: The survivors are:

Ryan

Flo

Madison L.

Chelsa

Avery

(Dramatic music between Jay and Lauren)

Chris: Lauren.

Jay: What? I have so many friends!

(Chef drags him off to the boat)

Jay: NOOOOOO!!!

-------------------------

Chris: Next time on Total Drama Reality:

(Flash Forward)

**(Chris: The campers will have to slug it out in the greatest pillow fight ever!)**

Damien: This is your fault, Ted!

**(The Sharks are gonna have teamwork problems, and a secret will be spilled.)**

(Damien looks at computer in disbelief)

Damien: No WAY!

(Now)

Chris: Will Ted fall to an evil plot, or will the secret-holder be defeated? Is Damien trustworthy? (Here's a hint: NO.) Will my hot tub still work?

Find out the answers to all this and more on the next episode of

Total

Drama

Reality!


	7. A Skeleton In the Closet?

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Reality:

**(Flashback)**

_Madison A.: Did you get 'em? _**(Chris: The Sharks had a hard time at the start,) **

_Nathan: No! Watch out for-_

_(Sharks crash into a rubber pendalum)_

_Chris: Ouuuch! That's gotta bite!_

_(Bonfires pass Sharks and cross the finish line)_

_**(cut)**_

_Paul: Damien! I have good news and bad news._

_Damien: Good news first!_

_Paul: We're going to win!_

_Damien: Great! What's the bad news?_

_Paul: We're probably not going to survive. _

_(cut to Chris, down by the beach and finish line)_

_Chris (with binoculars): Is Paul going to... No way! He is!_

_(Shark's car drives off the cliff and free-falls toward the beach. You can hear Damien screaming for miles.)_

_(When the car hits the beach, it bounce/rolls its way across the finish line.)_ **(But Paul helped them out with an awesome stunt,)**

_Paul: Nice supension._

_**(cut)**_

_Chris: Chef will guide you to the next track. (to chef) Where is the next track?_

_Chef (grinning): You'll see. _**(While I got a mean surprise from Chef.)**

_(switch to the inside of Chris's cabin)_

_Chef: Go down the hall, through the bathroom, the den, onto the balcony, past the hot tub, into the dining room, then you'll see the finish line. You lose points for destroying stuff. Ready, set, go!_

_(Cars pull away, showing Chris tied to a chair)_

_Chris: No bonus for you, then._

_(Chef shrugs)_

_**(cut)**_

_(Chris pulling off ropes)_

_Chris: Since the Sharks destroyed the least amount of stuff, I declare them the winners! _**(The Sharks won for sparing most of my sitting room,)**

_(Sharks cheer)_

_**(cut)**_

_(Dramatic music between Jay and Lauren)_

_Chris: Lauren._

_Jay: What? I have so many friends!_

_(Chef drags him off to the boat)_

_Jay: NOOOOOO!!!_ **(while Jay bore the brunt of the Bonfires' loss.)**

**(Now)**

Chris: Will the Sharks triumph again, or will the Bonfires come back? What secrets do the campers hide? Will I _ever_ manage to wake up before Paul does?

Find out the answers to all of these questions and more this time on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

( 3:00 AM)

Chris: There is _**no way **_Paul wakes up this early. A guy would have to be totally-

Paul (grinning): -_Obsessed?_

(Chris's jaw drops.)

Chris: Okay. I give up. Why do you wake up so early?

Paul: You mean you _sleep?_

(Chris looks really, really, scared)

Paul: Kidding.

(Chris looks relieved)

Paul: I did that just to annoy you.

Chris (disbelieving): You woke up at _**3:00 AM**_ to annoy me?

Paul: Yep.

Chris (impressed): Good job. (Shakes Paul's hand.)

**-------------------------------**

(mess hall)

(Paul and Raquel talk alone.)

Chris: Can I have a show of hands from anyone who has ever fought in a pillow fight?

Damien (sarcastic): No. No, you can't.

(Campers gasp)

Chris (Glares): That was a retorical question.

(Everyone raises hands)

Chris: Hope you're good at it, because that's what we're doing.

Damien: Isn't that what you said yesterday with Mariokart?

Chris: You're mumbling.

(Damien growls)

Chris: The first pillow fight will be all in fun and every camper for themself.

Damien: That's 'him or herself'.

Chris: Still mumbling.

(Damien growls again)

--------------------------

(Everyone in a giant moonwalk)

Chris: This moonwalk is three stories tall and about the width of one of your cabins. You're going to play on the second and third stories, because the ground floor is where you fall in when you lose. You fall in, you don't come back in until the next challenge. Last person still bouncing around wins an invincibility card you can use when you or your teamate's proverbal life is at stake. (Hold out container full of thick, fluffy pillows.) Take one and get ready to rumble!

Florence: I have weighed the chances of getting a concussion, so I am not going to do this. Take me off this island immediately.

Chris (narrows eyes): As much as I would like to, it says right here in your contract (pulls out contract) that you can't leave the island until you get voted off. So, unless you want to talk to Human Resources...

(Cut to Chef revving chainsaw)

(Everyone takes a pillow)

(Cut to second story)

Chris: Ready, set, PILLOW FIGHT!

Damien: Wait, _what?_

(Lauren hits Damien, who falls all the way down to the bottom floor)

Lauren: Bye, Damien!

Ted(hits Lauren with a pillow): See you around!

(Ted turns around to see Avery barreling toward him.)

(Avery swings his pillow at Ted but misses)

(Ted charges at Avery, knocking them both off)

(Third story)

Ryan (charges at Paul): Yaaah!!

(Paul grabs Ryan and drops him over the edge)

(Pause)

*SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT*

Chris: We at the network have found that Madison L. was SUPPOSED to be on the Bonfires, when up to now she had been considered a Shark until voted off. We have also noticed a missing camper. We will find the true Madison before the show will proceed.(Someone comes in and whispers to Chris.) Wait a minute. She never LEFT! When the last camper fell off her ship, she slipped onto it, and **I TOTALLY FELL FOR IT! ** Chef, you know what to do.

*END ANNOUNCEMENT*

(Alarm sirens blare and everybody stops what they are doing)

Chris(megaphone) : Madison L., surrender yourself! We have you outnumbered!

Madison(Jumps out of the moonwalk): No way, coppers!

(Madison L. runs into the forest)

Chris: Chef! Release the 'kitty'.

(Cut to a tiger in a box)

Chris: Doing this would be inhumane and cruel. Do it anyway.(Laughs) Just kidding. We're not that bad... yet. Put it back, Chef.

(Chef puts tiger into a car, where it's taken to a zoo.)

Chris (megaphone): All right, campers. New Challenge: Whoever captures Madison L. gets both an invincibility card and the win. If an entire team captures her, you'l have to play rock paper scissors or something.

(Cut to the forest)

(Damien creeps along )

(Madison L. crawls around on the ground)

(Nathan sees her and throws a net at her)

(Madison L. runs)

(Ted and Damien both charge at her and crash.)

Damien: This is your fault, Ted!

Ted: My fault? Who's the Drama Queen here?

(Damien narrows eyes)

(Madison runs for the cliff, but is blocked by Avery)

Madison: (Huff)You'll never (Puff) catch me!

(Paul jumps down from a tree and pulls out a paintball gun)

(Madison screeches to a halt but Paul opens fire)

(Madison L. gets splattered with paint, but keeps running.)

Madison L.: ACK!

Paul: Get her!

Mystery Voice: YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

(Mystery Girl Tackles Madison L.)

Mystery Girl: That'll teach you!

Chris: Well done. Campers, meet Elizabeth Mann. She was the missing camper.

Elizabeth: Took you long enough!

Chris: And since Madison L. was eliminated, we need to send a Shark off as well. Elizabeth is on the Bonfire team, and she wins an invincibility card.

(Paul looks impressed)

(Damien whispers something in Nathan's ear. Nathan's eyes bulge. Nathan repeats it to Tierney.)

-------------------------------

(Campfire Ceremony)

Chris: A terrible twist ends with you up here. Choose the camper you want to get rid of the most.

------------------------------

(Voting finished)

Chris: Survivors are:

Paul (Paul: Yes!)

Damien

Nathan

Madison A.

Tierney

(Dramatic music between Ted and Raquel: Ted is nervous, while Raquel is calm)

Chris: Ted.

Raquel: What? Why?

Damien: You're already engaged. You kissed Paul. Any more explanation needed?

*Confessional*

Paul: Yes, Damien. I need to explain this to the veiwers.(Sighs) She's the daughter of a Royal of India. Engaged at birth, all of the boys in her school fell in love with her, but she turned them all down because she knows she's already engaged. She's never met her fiance in her life...

*End Confessional*

Paul: Idiot. She already told me that. (Flash to Paul and Raquel talking) How did you find out?

(Flash to Damien alone in Shark cabin)

(Damien glances at a lit up laptop screeen. He looks in closer and he reads something.)

Damien: No WAY!

(Now)

(Damien looks ashamed)

Paul (sarcastic): Nice job.

-------------------------

(Raquel leaves in silence)

Madison L.(Being loaded aboard): I will have my revenge!

-------------------------

Chris: Next time on Total Drama Reality:

**(Flash forward)**

(Darth Vader comes out of the shadows)

Chris: You must prove your worth!

(Damien trembles)

**(Flash forward)**

Elizabeth: Alright, little boy, you need to shape up or ship out!

(Ryan looks enraged)

Ryan(roaring):I AM NOT A 'LITTLE BOY'!

**(Now)**

Chris: Will Ryan have a heart attack? Will Elizabeth survive her first challenge? Will Darth Vader eat all of my Popsicles?(Which, by the way, would be nearly impossible)Will Madison L. have her revenge?

Find out the answers to all this and more on the next episode of

Total

Drama

Reality!


	8. Camp Wars TDR

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Reality...

**(Flashback)**

_Chris: This moonwalk is three stories tall and about the width of one of your cabins. You're going to play on the second and third stories, because the ground floor is where you fall in when you lose. You fall in, you don't come back in until the next challenge. Last person still bouncing around wins an invincibility card you can use when you or your teamate's proverbal life is at stake. (Hold out container full of thick, fluffy pillows.) Take one and get ready to rumble!_**(It all started out innocently at first... a good old pillow fight...)**

**(Cut)**

*_SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT*_

_Chris: We at the network have found that Madison L. was SUPPOSED to be on the Bonfires, when up to now she had been considered a Shark until voted off. We have also noticed a missing camper. We will find the true Madison before the show will proceed.(Someone comes in and whispers to Chris.) Wait a minute. She never LEFT! When the last camper fell off her ship, she slipped onto it, and __**I TOTALLY FELL FOR IT! **__ Chef, you know what to do. _**(Madison L. was caught cheating, as she posed for TWO campers instead of just herself.)**

_*END ANNOUNCEMENT*_

**(Cut)**

_Chris (megaphone): All right, campers. New Challenge: Whoever captures Madison L. gets both an invincibility card and the win. If an entire team captures her, you'l have to play rock paper scissors or something._

**(Cut)**

(_Ted and Damien both charge at her and crash.)_

_Damien: This is your fault, Ted!_

_Ted: My fault? Who's the Drama Queen here? _**(Damien looked like he was going to start a rivalry with Ted but thought better of it.)**

**(Cut)**

_Paul: Get her!_

_Mystery Voice: YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!_

_(Mystery Girl Tackles Madison L.)_

_Mystery Girl: That'll teach you!_

_Chris: Well done. Campers, meet Elizabeth Mann. She was the missing camper. _**(We caught the perpitrator and laid that problem to rest.**

_Elizabeth: Took you long enough!_

_Chris: And since Madison L. was eliminated, we need to send a Shark off as well. Elizabeth is on the Bonfire team, and she wins an invincibility card._

_(Paul looks impressed)_

_(Damien whispers something in Nathan's ear. Nathan's eyes bulge. Nathan repeats it to Tierney.)_

_**(Cut)**_

_(Dramatic music between Ted and Raquel: Ted is nervous, while Raquel is calm)_

_Chris: Ted._

_Raquel: What? Why?_

_Damien: You're already engaged. You kissed Paul. Any more explanation needed?_

_*Confessional*_

_Paul: Yes, Damien. I need to explain this to the veiwers.(Sighs) __She's the daughter of a Royal of India. Engaged at birth, all of the boys in her school fell in love with her, but she turned them all down because she knows she's already engaged. She's never met her fiance in her life... _

_*End Confessional*_

_Paul: Idiot. She already told me that. (Flash to Paul and Raquel talking) How did you find out?_** (Damien misunderstood the situation between Paul and Raquel, leading to the removal of Raquel from the island.)**

**(Cut)**

_(Damien glances at a lit up laptop screeen. He looks in closer and he reads something.)_

_Damien: No WAY!_

**(Cut)**

_(Damien looks ashamed)_

_Paul (sarcastic): Nice job._

**(End Flashback)**

Chris: Will Paul and Elizabeth start an alliance? Will Damien get his comeuppance? Can I have that cup of coffee now?(Chef hands him a coffee) (Chris takes a sip) Ah, coffee...

Find out the answers to all this and more on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

(Everyone in mess hall)

Chris(Wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi costume): Welcome, little Padawans.

(Darth Vader comes out of the shadows)

Chris: You must prove your worth!

(Damien trembles)

Paul(confused): I give up. What's going on?

Chris: Do I have to sing the Star Wars theme song? It's time for you to learn the ways of the Force.

(Cut to campers looking at rocks in front of them)

Chris: The first team to lift the rocks without touching them wins.

(Campers thinking)

Chris: It's easy. The first rule for a Jedi is to always think outside the box.

(Paul gets an idea)

*Confessional*

Paul: I was known in school for my creative, quick thinking.

*End Confessional*

Damien: What the...

(Paul picks up the table, rocks and all)

Chris: That works... The Sharks win the first challenge.

(Sharks Cheer)

Sharks- 1

Bonfires- 0

Chris: The next challenge...

(Cut to woods and two targets)

Chris:...is to hit the target while blindfolded to show your one-ness with the Force. You will not know where the target is. Just stick the dot onto the Velcro target. The one closest to the center of your target wins.

Paul(Putting the blind on Ted): Use the Force, Ted...

Ted(grinning): Shut up. You know as well as I do I'm not going to win this.

Elizabeth: Ryan, you aren't putting it on right.

Ryan(scoffs): Says probably couldn't tell the difference between a blind and a skunk.

Elizabeth: Where do you get these ridiculous ideas?

(Ryan is trying not to laugh as he finishes tying a skunk over her face)

(The skunk sprays her and runs away, she yelps)

Elizabeth: Alright, little boy, you need to shape up or ship out!

(Ryan looks enraged)

Ryan(roaring):I AM NOT A 'LITTLE BOY'!

(Both teams ready)

Chris: Ready, set, use the Force!

(Ted and Elizabeth stumble around)

(Elizabeth gets close to the target, and the campers hold their breath.)

(Elizabeth misses, and the Bonfire team frowns.)

(Ted stumbles,and he grabs his target unwittingly. He realizes his postion and places the dot right in the center.)

(Sharks cheer as Ted pulls off his blind)

Chris: Good going, my man.

(Elizabeth places her dot on the edge of her target. She pulls off the blind and frowns at her mistake.)

(The Sharks cheer... until Ted's dot falls off its target)

Chris: Since Ted ended up with his dot being the farthest away from the specified target, it would seem that Elizabeth wins.

(Bonfire cabin cheers)

Sharks- 1

Bonfires- 1

Avery: Good going, Elizabeth!

(Elizabeth bows)

Paul(Frowning): We got robbed.

(cut to darkened mess hall)

Chris: Choose one teammate to participate in the next challenge.

Damien: Me!

Paul: Figures.

Avery: What about Ryan? He's tough.

Chris: Sure. Your challenge awaits you in there. (points to kitchen) Oh, by the way...(tosses them fake glow in the dark lightsabers) you'll probably need these. (Laughs evilly)

(They look into the dark kitchen)

***Confessional***

Damien: Looking into a dark kitchen with no way out, armed with only a plastic toy: Good times...right...

***End Confessional***

(They slowly walk into the kitchen, the knives on the walls gleaming)

Damien(Scared): I can't do this... I just can't...

Paul: Suck it up. I drove off a cliff.

Damien: You had a choice!

Paul: You decided to go into this challenge, and you aren't backing out.

( A dark shadow moves)

Ryan: What was that?

(Darth Hatchet appears behind them.)

(Ryan and Damien slowly turn around)

Ryan and Damien:AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Chris: Your challenge is to get the most hits on Darth Hatchet before five minutes is up.(Chef is grinning at them with a huge red lightsaber in his hands)

(Damien and Ryan tremble)

***Confessional***

Ryan: I would have fainted if Elizabeth hadn't said something that really made me mad.

***End Confessional***

Elizabeth: I would have known you would chicken out, short stuff.

(Ryan twitches, then explodes in anger)

Ryan: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Attacks Chef)

***Confessional***

Elizabeth:You just have to know how to push their buttons.

***End Confessional***

Chef: What the-

(Ryan jumps on Chef and beats him to a pulp)

Chris (winces):Chef never had a chance.

(Ryan gets Chef into a half nelson)

Chef: Uncle! UNCLE!

***Confessional***

Paul: By this time, I was really starting to feel sorry for Chef.

***End Confessional***

(Damien is curled up into a corner, sucking his thumb)

Chris(looks at clock): The five minutes is up, and it is clear that Ryan has landed the most hits.

(Ryan gets off of Chef, who has fallen into a crumpled heap)

Florence: Yay for Ryan!

Chris: Sharks... see you losers at the Campfire Ceremony tonight.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Bonfire Cabin)

Avery: He... He just laid Chef out! (Motions with his hands) Bam! Whack! Pow!

Chelsa:Yeah! He's probably in the Hospital wing like Ron was in the third book!

(Bonfires look at her)

Ryan: Give it up.

(Paul walks in)

Paul: Hey, Ryan: Nice job.

Ryan: Thanks...

(Paul walks out)

Ryan: What was that all about?

(Avery shrugs)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Campfire Ceremony)

Chris: One of you is going home tonight... The survivors are:

Paul

Madison A.

Nathan

Tierney

(Dramatic Music between Damien and Ted)

Chris: Damien.

Nathan: What? I have three other friends who voted to keep Ted on.

(Paul, Madison, and Tierney nod)

Chris: Not my problem.

(Paul thinks)

***Confessional***

Paul: I was thinking. This had happened before. Someone was so desperate...

***End Confessional***

***Confessional***

(Damien raids the votes box) Sorry, guy, I'm desperate. That's show biz...

***End Confessional***

Ted: See you around, guys.(Leaves)

Chris: Teach the first mate how to play poker!

(Damien smiles alone)

**(Cut to Chris)**

Chris: Next time on Total Drama Reality...

(Flash Forward)

Chris: Welcome to roman Wanawaka!

(Cut)

Chris: It's time for Gladiators to rock the house!

(Cut)

Damien: You're going down.

(Now)

Chris: Will Damien be found out? Will Ryan come out on top? Will I get to see campers being chased by lions while I am being fed grapes?

Find out the answers to this and more on the next episode of

Total

Drama

Reality!


	9. When in Camp

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Reality...

**(FLASHBACK)**

(Everyone in mess hall)

Chris(Wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi costume): Welcome, little Padawans.

(Darth Vader comes out of the shadows)

Chris: You must prove your worth!

(Damien trembles)

Paul(confused): I give up. What's going on?

Chris: Do I have to sing the Star Wars theme song? It's time for you to learn the ways of the Force.

(Cut to campers looking at rocks in front of them)

Chris: The first team to lift the rocks without touching them wins.

(Campers thinking)

**(Cut)**

(Paul picks up the table, rocks and all)

Chris: That works... The Sharks win the first challenge. **(Paul came up with something smart to win the first challenge,)**

(Cut to woods and two targets)

Chris: Just stick the dot onto the Velcro target. The one closest to the center of your target wins.

**(Cut)**

(Ted and Elizabeth stumble around)

(Elizabeth gets close to the target, and the campers hold their breath.)

(Ted stumbles,and he grabs his target unwittingly. He realizes his postion and places the dot right in the center.)

Elizabeth places her dot on the edge of her target. She pulls off the blind and frowns at her mistake.)

(The Sharks cheer... until Ted's dot falls off its target)

Chris: Since Ted ended up with his dot being the farthest away from the specified target, it would seem that Elizabeth wins. **(While Elizabeth just got lucky.)**

**(Cut)**

(Darth Hatchet appears behind them.)

(Ryan and Damien slowly turn around)

Ryan and Damien:AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Chris: Your challenge is to get the most hits on Darth Hatchet before five minutes is up.(Chef is grinning at them with a huge red lightsaber in his hands)

**(Cut)**

Elizabeth: I would have known you would chicken out, short stuff.**(Nobody questioned Ryan's strength after he took out Chef) **

(Ryan twitches, then explodes in anger)

Ryan: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Attacks Chef)

(Cut)

(Ryan gets Chef into a half nelson)

Chef: Uncle! UNCLE!

**(Cut)**

(Damien is curled up into a corner, sucking his thumb)

Chris(looks at clock): The five minutes is up, and it is clear that Ryan has landed the most hits.

(Ryan gets off of Chef, who has fallen into a crumpled heap)

**(Cut)**

(Paul walks in)

Paul: Hey, Ryan: Nice job. **(Paul was impressed by Ryan's power and congratulated him)**

Ryan: Thanks...

(Paul walks out)

Ryan: What was that all about?

(Avery shrugs)

**(Cut)**

Chris: One of you is going home tonight... The survivors are:

Paul

Madison A.

**(Cut)**

(Dramatic Music between Damien and Ted)

Chris: Damien.

Nathan: What? I have three other friends who voted to keep Ted on.

**(Cut)**

***Confessional***

(Damien raids the votes box) Sorry, guys, I'm desperate. That's show biz... **(And Damien cheated to keep himself on the island)**

***End Confessional***

**(END FLASHBACK)**

Will Elizabeth and Ryan ever respect each other? Will Paul pull an ally from all of this? Will Damien suck his thumb again?

Find the answers to all this and more on the next episode of

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

(Chris blows Roman trumpets)

(Campers come out)

Chris: Welcome to Roman Wanawaka!

(Chris is dressed in a Roman Emperor outfit)

Paul: Oh my gosh...

(Camp has been transformed into a tiny Roman city.)

Chris: Do you like it?

Damien(Runs out ) : Like it? I love this!

(Paul rolls his eyes)

Chris: Meet me in the mess hall for your first challenge!

(Mess Hall)

Chris: From now on, all teams have been disbanded. Try to grab some allies and win. The first challenge is to make a Roman recipe from Chef Hatchet's Roman Cookbook, now availiable in stores. Just kidding. No one in their right minds would buy a cookbook from Chef.(Chef growls)

Tierney: Um, mine says 'Air' on it.

Chris: Then you're done.

Tierney: Then I'm getting kicked off? WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! (Jumps onto the boat of Losers)

Chris: Okaaaaayyy.... On with the challenge!

(Nathan and Madison A. are making Tomato Soup and Stuffed Pheasant)

(Damien is making mashed potatoes)

(Paul is making Roasted Rabbit with Steamed Carrots)

Chris(Looks at rabbit on a spit): Rabbit?

Paul: Chef said it was a 'bunny', actually.

(Chris' eyes widen)

***CONFESSIONAL***

(DJ is watching the show)

DJ(Crying): BUNNY!

***END CONFESSIONAL***

(Chris walks on)

(Chelsa is stirring pumpkin soup)

(Ryan is baking bread)

(Lauren is pouring rocks onto a plate)

Chris: What are you doing?

Lauren: Making rock candy. What else?

Chris(Forced smile): It looks good.

Lauren(Offers him some): Want some?

Chris: No, I think I'll save my taste buds for the rest of the food first. Dessert tastes best at the end.

(Florence and Avery are teaming up for the cooking of some honey-glazed pork)

(Everyone's done)

(Chris walks over to the Pheasant and soup. He tries a bite of the Pheasant.)

Chris: Not bad.

(sips the tomato soup)

Chris: Sweet.

(Dips the ladle in the pumpkin soup. It hits pulls a whole pumpkin out of the soup.)

Chelsa: Pumpkin soup. Add one pumpkin, right?

(Chris moves on. He takes a bite out of the bread.)

Chris: Stupendous! What's the trick?

Ryan: I added six cups of honey.

Chris: Are you saying that this bread is three-fourths honey?

(Ryan nods.)

Chris: I should get Chef to do that.

(Paul gives Chris some rabbit)

Chris: Delicious. Don't change a thing about it.

***CONFESSIONAL***

DJ(Crying): You monsters!

***END CONFESSIONAL***

(Damien's mashed potatoes look like so much dirt)

Chris: What is this?

Damien: Mashed potatoes.

Chris: Mashed potatoes? (pokes potatoes with a fork, the potatoes swallow the fork whole)

(Lauren's dish)

(Chris forces down rocks)

Chris(Coughing): It's (cough cough)great.(cough cough)

(Lauren beams)

(Chris eats ham)

Chris: This is good. Save the rest for tonight's gladiator contest.

Paul: Glatiator Contest?

Chris: Yep. The campers who don't place in the next challenge will have to fight it out with inflatable weapons to prove that they are worthy of freedom.

Nathan: Freedom? I thought people were born free.

Chris: Most of the time, only slaves fought in the gladiator matches. Anybody else could watch, although the girls couldn't have front row seats.

Lauren: Why not?

Chris: Because people didn't think girls could stand watching people die ten feet away from them. Glatiators could win their freedom by winning many matches. Girls loved the gladiators, because they were so rarely did girls compete.

Chelsea: Did they think we were too weak?

Chris: You don't see girls on the front lines of war for the same reason. Women aren't supposed to fight. It's kinda a tradition. Don't ask me why. But enough of that. Time to get to the chariot race.

(Switch to chariot race)

Chris: Choose someone to team up with for the race. Whichever teams don't make it into first or second have to fight it out in the arena. 2 people will stay with me and help fix the chariots when they break, and will watch both the gladiator and chariot competitions. Florence and Avery, you guys are immediatly considered invincible.

(Chariots ready)

Chris: I'll list off the chariots and their drivers.

Chariot #1:Paul and Elizabeth (Elizabeth: You'd better not mess this up, Paul.)

Chariot #2:Nathan and Madison (They kiss)(Damien does a fake gag)

Chariot #3:Lauren and Chelsea (Chelsea: Chesapeake!)

Chariot #4:Damien and Ryan

(Chris is at the starting line)

Chris: Ready, set, go!

(Chariots race off)

Chris(Dictating the race): Chariot #1 is in the lead, followed by Chariot #4 closely.

Damien: You're going down!

Elizabeth: That's what you think!(Kicks Chariot #4)

(Chariot #4 spins out and crashes)

Damien: Darn you!

Ryan: I suppose we're gladiators, then.

(flash to Chariot #1)

Paul: Elizabeth! Look out!(Pushes her down as a inflateable spear flies over her head)

Elizabeth: Where did they get that?

Chris: I just gave them a little help.

(They go around twice)

Chris: At the start of the last lap, Chariot #1 is still in the lead, followed by Chariot #3 and in last is Chariot #2.

Nathan: We need a way to get ahead!

(Madison looks around and finds a rope.)

Nathan: Awesome! Watch this!

(Nathan winds the rope into a lasso and loops it around the left wheel of Chariot #3)

(Chariot #3 loses its left wheel and crashes.)

Lauren: Ugh! I'l get you!

Chris: Chariots #1 and 2 finish! Woohoo! All non-gladiators come with me! All gladiators go with Chef.

(Switch to gladiator stadium)

Chris: You who are about to fight salute me! It's everyone for themselves. Last gladiator standing wins.

(Gladiators look around)

Damien: Look! Ryan's the best fighter, so why don't we finish him off first?

Lauren: He's got a point. Get Ryan!

(Other Gladiators surround Ryan)

(Ryan grabs a rope next to the wall and pulls on it.)

***CONFESSIONAL***

Ryan: I was praying that the rope had some unknown effect. It did.

***END CONFESSIONAL***

(The whole stadium collapses on everyone _except_ Ryan.)

(Chris climbs out of the rubble)

Chris(beaten up): Since Ryan defeated all of the gladiators, he wins his freedom. All free people have invincibility. Damien, Lauren, and Chelsea, see you at the Campfire.

-----------------------

(Campfire Ceremony)

Chris: There are two marshmellows on this plate. One of you will go home.

Lauren, you're safe.

(Dramatic music, Chris thinks slowly)

Chris: Chelsea.

(Damien looks like he's going to blow up.)

Damien: I will defeat you all! You'll never take me off this island alive!

Chris: I thought you'd say that. Chef, Paul!

(Paul and Chef appear with heavy armor on.)

(Damien runs into the forest)

Chris: Twice in one season! That's a new.

(Paul and Chef run after Damien)

-----------------------

(Paul and Chef drag Damien into the bait house)

(Chris throws in a portable DVD player)

Chef:What did you do that for?

Chris: Pinnochio. The Bonacelli version.

Paul: Don't you think that was a bit much?

Chris: Nope.

----------------------

Chris: Next time on Total Drama Reality...

(Flash Forward)

Reporter: The Royal Canadian Mountian Police were obliged to remove an insane child from Camp Wanawaka.

(Cut)

Chris: It's laser tag time!

(Cut)

Chris: And the survivors are...

(Paul looks worried)

(Now)

Chris: Will Madison L. ever come through on her threat?Will Damien do the same? Will I own all the campers at Laser tag?

Find out next time on

Total

Drama

Reality!


	10. Fan Faves

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Reality:

**(FLASHBACK)**

_(Chris blows Roman trumpets)_

_(Campers come out)_

_Chris: Welcome to Roman Wanawaka!_

_(Chris is dressed in a Roman Emperor outfit)_

_Paul: Oh my gosh..._

_(Camp has been transformed into a tiny Roman city.) _**(We went to ancient Rome last time,)**

**(Cut)**

_Chris: From now on, all teams have been disbanded. Try to grab some allies and win. The first challenge is to make a Roman recipe from Chef Hatchet's Roman Cookbook, now availiable in stores. Just kidding. No one in their right minds would buy a cookbook from Chef.(Chef growls)_

_Tierney: Um, mine says 'Air' on it._

_Chris: Then you're done._

_Tierney: Then I'm getting kicked off? WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! (Jumps onto the boat of Losers) _**(Even though some people don't understand half of what I say.)**

_(Paul is making Roasted Rabbit with Steamed Carrots)_

_Chris(Looks at rabbit on a spit): Rabbit?_

_Paul: Chef said it was a 'bunny', actually._

_(Chris' eyes widen)_

_***CONFESSIONAL***_

_(DJ is watching the show)_

_DJ(Crying): BUNNY! _

_***END CONFESSIONAL***_

**(Cut)**

_(Chris walks over to the Pheasant and soup. He tries a bite of the Pheasant.) _**(We had some delicacies, )**

_Chris: Not bad._

**(Cut)**

_(Dips the ladle in the pumpkin soup. It hits pulls a whole pumpkin out of the soup.) _**(Some misunderstood recipies,)**

_Chelsa: Pumpkin soup. Add one pumpkin, right?_

**(Cut)**

_(Damien's mashed potatoes look like so much dirt)_

_Chris: What is this?_

_Damien: Mashed potatoes._

_Chris: Mashed potatoes? (pokes potatoes with a fork, the potatoes swallow the fork whole) _**(And some flat-out stinkers.)**

**(Cut)**

_(Switch to chariot race)_

_Chris: Choose someone to team up with for the race. Whichever teams don't make it into first or second have to fight it out in the arena. 2 people will stay with me and help fix the chariots when they break, and will watch both the gladiator and chariot competitions. Florence and Avery, you guys are immediatly considered invincible._

_(Chariots ready)_

**(Cut)**

_Chris: Ready, set, go!_

_(Chariots race off)_

_Chris(Dictating the race): Chariot #1 is in the lead, followed by Chariot #4 closely._

_Damien: You're going down!_

_Elizabeth: That's what you think!(Kicks Chariot #4)_

_(Chariot #4 spins out and crashes)_

**(Cut)**

_(They go around twice)_

_Chris: At the start of the last lap, Chariot #1 is still in the lead, followed by Chariot #3 and in last is Chariot #2._

_Nathan: We need a way to get ahead!_

_(Madison looks around and finds a rope.) _**(After some nice moves, Madison and Nathan pulled ahead)**

_Nathan: Awesome! Watch this!_

_(Nathan winds the rope into a lasso and loops it around the left wheel of Chariot #3)_

_(Chariot #3 loses its left wheel and crashes.)_

**(Cut)**

_Chris: Chariots #1 and 2 finish! Woohoo! All non-gladiators come with me! All gladiators go with Chef._

_(Switch to gladiator stadium)_

_Chris: You who are about to fight salute me! It's everyone for themselves. Last gladiator standing wins._

_Damien: Look! Ryan's the best fighter, so why don't we finish him off first?_

_Lauren: He's got a point. Get Ryan!_

_(Other Gladiators surround Ryan)_

_(Ryan grabs a rope next to the wall and pulls on it.)_

_(The whole stadium collapses on everyone except Ryan.)_

_(Chris climbs out of the rubble)_

_Chris(beaten up): Since Ryan defeated all of the gladiators, he wins his freedom. All free people have invincibility. Damien, Lauren, and Chelsea, see you at the Campfire._

**(Cut)**

_Chris: There are two marshmellows on this plate. One of you will go home._

_Lauren, you're safe._

_(Dramatic music, Chris thinks slowly)_

_Chris: Chelsea._

_(Damien looks like he's going to blow up.)_

_Damien: I will defeat you all! You'll never take me off this island alive!_

_Chris: I thought you'd say that. Chef, Paul!_

_(Paul and Chef appear with heavy armor on.)_

**(Cut)**

_(Paul and Chef drag Damien into the bait house)_

_(Chris throws in a portable DVD player)_

_Chef:What did you do that for?_

_Chris: Pinnochio. The Bonacelli version. _**(You don't think this is a fitting punishment? Watch the movie.)**

_Paul: Don't you think that was a bit much?_

_Chris: Nope._

**(END FLASHBACK)**

Chris: Will Damien ever give up trying to get out of that shed? Will the RCMP come anytime soon? Will Paul and Chef ever get a rest?

Find out the answers to all this and more this time on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

(TV Channel 20)

Reporter: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police were obliged to remove an insane child from Camp Wanawaka. Here's the original camera footage:

**(Cuts to crummy camera shot of Campfire Ceremony)**

_Chris: There are two marshmellows on this plate. One of you will go home._

_Lauren, you're safe._

_(Dramatic music, Chris thinks slowly)_

_Chris: Chelsea._

_(Damien looks like he's going to blow up.)_

_Damien: I will defeat you all! You'll never take me off this island alive!_

_Chris: I thought you'd say that. Chef, Paul!_

_(Paul and Chef appear with heavy armor on.)_

**(Now)**

Reporter: Damien Queen was removed forcifully and sent to court to appear for 2,000 dollars worth of damage to the camp property.

(Chris turns off TV.)

Chris: Isn't life great?

(Campers roar their approval.)

Chris: You have reached the half-point mark. The next challenge is just for fun. It's a dance contest!

Elizabeth: Hmm... I've never thought sereously about swimming off the island until now.

Chris: Alright, you big crybabies. Everybody on the cruise ship.

(Turns to cameramen)

Chris: You too. (Turns toward the cameras) You viewers will see the fan favorite scenes and a bonus one at the end.

**(FAN FAVORITES)**

Chris: Chef, Aim the bazooka at the Bonfires' cabin.

Juliet: What? (confused) They chose the chainsaws.

Chris:( evil grin) Oops. I forgot to mention that you chose what the enemy will use on _your_ cabin. My bad.

(Bonfires gape in horror)

*Confessional*

Ryan: Wow. He really _is_ evil.

*End Confessional*

(Chef aims and fires bazooka.)

*Confessional*

Avery: I almost cried.

*End Confessional*

(Cabin Explodes)

Chris: (Laying on beach chair with drink in hand) What a nice backdrop for drinking Pina Coladas!

Chef: All in a day's work.

Ted:Ah-ah-ah

(others dive for ball, surround Ted)

Ted: AH-CHOO!

( many screams)

Damien: GetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoff!

(Chris Laughs)

Chris: He sneezed on the ball! Oh, MAN!

(continues laughing)

Chris: Wow. The short guy caught something.

Ryan: Shut up, Chris!

Chris: Sharks, you have found the key, and therefore, the prize: A widescreen T.V. and enough goodies to last you the night, which happens to be a movie night for the Sharks: _Gone with the Wind_. Enjoy the sweet taste of victory... and potato chips.

(Jay and Flo take the lead)

Paul: Damien! I have good news and bad news.

Damien: Good news first!

Paul: We're going to win!

Damien: Great! What's the bad news?

Paul: We're probably not going to survive.

(cut to Chris, down by the beach and finish line)

Chris (with binoculars): Is Paul going to... No way! He is!

(Paul swerves toward the cliff)

*Confessional*

Paul: If I had even _considered_ the possibility of doing that _before_ the race started, I would have laughed it off, but considering the outrageous circumstances and the pressure I was under, I really had no choice.

*End Confessional*

(Shark's car drives off the cliff and free-falls toward the beach. You can hear Damien screaming for miles.)

(When the car hits the beach, it bounce/rolls its way across the finish line.)

Paul: Nice supension.

Chris: Chef will guide you to the next track. (to chef) Where _is_ the next track?

Chef (grinning): You'll see.

*Confessional*

Ted: I was seriously curious. What would Chef pick?

*End Confessional*

(switch to the inside of Chris's cabin)

Chef: Go down the hall, through the bathroom, the den, onto the balcony, past the hot tub, into the dining room, then you'll see the finish line. You lose points for destroying stuff. Ready, set, go!

(Cars pull away, showing Chris tied to a chair)

Chris: No bonus for you, then.

(Chef shrugs)

----------------------------------------

(Chris pulling off ropes)

Chris: Since the Sharks destroyed the least amount of stuff, I declare them the winners!

(Sharks cheer)

Chris (frowning): Whoopdeedo. Now, let's see how much I have to take out of Chef's paycheck. Bonfires: What can I say? Meet you at the campfire, then.

( 3:00 AM)

Chris: There is _**no way **_Paul wakes up this early. A guy would have to be totally-

Paul (grinning): -_Obsessed?_

(Chris's jaw drops.)

Chris: Okay. I give up. Why do you wake up so early?

Paul: You mean you _sleep?_

(Chris looks really, really, scared)

Paul: Kidding.

(Chris looks relieved)

Paul: I did that just to annoy you.

Chris (disbelieving): You woke up at _**3:00 AM**_ to annoy me?

Paul: Yep.

Chris (impressed): Good job. (Shakes Paul's hand.)

Florence: I have weighed the chances of getting a concussion, so I am not going to do this. Take me off this island immediately.

Chris (narrows eyes): As much as I would like to, it says right here in your contract (pulls out contract) that you can't leave the island until you get voted off. So, unless you want to talk to Human Resources...

(Cut to Chef revving chainsaw)

(Everyone takes a pillow)

Elizabeth: Ryan, you aren't putting it on right.

Ryan(scoffs): Says probably couldn't tell the difference between a blind and a skunk.

Elizabeth: Where do you get these ridiculous ideas?

(Ryan is trying not to laugh as he finishes tying a skunk over her face)

(The skunk sprays her and runs away, she yelps)

(They look into the dark kitchen)

***Confessional***

Damien: Looking into a dark kitchen with no way out, armed with only a plastic toy: Good times...right...

***End Confessional***

Chris: Your challenge is to get the most hits on Darth Hatchet before five minutes is up.(Chef is grinning at them with a huge red lightsaber in his hands)

(Damien and Ryan tremble)

***Confessional***

Ryan: I would have fainted if Elizabeth hadn't said something that really made me mad.

***End Confessional***

Elizabeth: I would have known you would chicken out, short stuff.

(Ryan twitches, then explodes in anger)

Ryan: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Attacks Chef)

***Confessional***

Elizabeth:You just have to know how to push their buttons.

***End Confessional***

Chef: What the-

(Ryan jumps on Chef and beats him to a pulp)

Chris (winces):Chef never had a chance.

(Ryan gets Chef into a half nelson)

Chef: Uncle! UNCLE!

Chris(Looks at rabbit on a spit): Rabbit?

Paul: Chef said it was a 'bunny', actually.

(Chris' eyes widen)

***CONFESSIONAL***

(DJ is watching the show)

DJ(Crying): BUNNY!

***END CONFESSIONAL***

(Paul and Chef drag Damien into the bait house)

(Chris throws in a portable DVD player)

Chef:What did you do that for?

Chris: Pinnochio. The Bonacelli version.

Paul: Don't you think that was a bit much?

Chris: Nope.

**(BONUS CLIP)**

(Chris comes out of the shadows wearing a flashy disco suit)

(Music plays

I heard you won the Wylas back in '52

Lying awake as fans were tuning in on you

If I was young it didn't stop you coming through

Oh, oh

They took the credit for your second symphony

Rewritten by machine not new technology

And now I understand the problems you can see

Oh, oh

I met your children

Oh, oh

What did you tell them?

Video killed the radio star

Video killed the radio star

Pictures came and broke your heart

(Sad) Oh, oh oh oh.

(Sad) Oh, oh oh oh.

And now we meet in an abandoned studio

We hear the playback and it seems so long ago

And you remember the jingles used to go-

Oh, oh

You were the first one

Oh, oh

You were the last one

Video killed the radio star

Video killed the radio star

In my mind and in my car,

The country whined, we'd gone too far

(Sad) Oh, oh oh oh.

(Sad) Oh, oh oh oh.

(Music plays and Chris dances)

Video killed the radio star

Video killed the radio star

(Fades out)

Chris: Wasn't that great?

See you next time on

Total

Drama

Reality!


	11. Truth or Dare?

(Chris walks onto the Dock of Shame)

Chris: Okay, We admit it. We're running out of ideas. (Gets on knees)PLEASE come up with some more ideas. PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEEEASSSE!!!!!

(Fades out)

**(A.N: Just Joking)**

(Chris walks out of his cabin)

Chris: Just joking. (laughs) I'm not gonna grovel like that ever again. We do like viewers submitting ideas, though. (Pulls out foghorn) ALL CAMPERS TO THE CHALLENGE SITE!

(challenge site)

Chris: Today, we're going to play a game that was designed for parties, get-togethers, and camps. Truth... or Dare? If someone will not answer a truth or follow through with a dare, they will say goodbye to Camp Wanawaka. We are not leaving until someone quits, and we are not quitting until someone that clear?

(Muttered "yes"es and "okay"s.)

Chris: Paul- Truth or dare?

Paul: Dare.

Chris: I dare you to jump in our shark-infested lake.

(Paul runs off the cliff and jumps)

Paul: Whoohooo!

(Paul falls in and the sharks attack him.)

Chris: He was a nice guy, too. So sad.

Paul: What's that supposed to mean?(He's got shark bites all over him.)

(Chris eyes him)

Chris: Ryan?

Ryan: Truth.

Chris: How do you describe your height?

Ryan: I have a normal height...

Chris: Chef?

Ryan: Wait! Uhh... I 'm a little short...

Chris: Chef? Over here!

Ryan: Okay! I'm short! I'm short!

Chris:...

Ryan: I'm tiny!

Chris: Finally! Madison A.-

Tierney(Comes in on Jetski): HI!

Chris: Okkkayyyy.... Since you left the island, you can't come back.

Madison L.(Coming in behind her) That's what you think!

(Madison L. and Tierney tie Chris up and throw him on a Jetski.)

Madison L.: Revenge! Sweet revenge!

(They Ski off)

(AN: Dun dun dee! Cliffhanger!)


	12. Ransom? GASP!

(Campers watching Chef look for a video frequency from Chris.)

(Chef gets a small signal and hovers around the spot until he sees Chris fiddling with a camera.)

Chris: Campers! They've taken me to an abandoned island and are holding me for ransom. I managed to make a map of the surrounding area.(Holds up map) You need to hurry up, or we'll be forced to cut out of the prize money for this. (End clip)

(Chef rewinds the clip and takes a picture of the map.)

Chef: You heard the man! Make teams of two and grab a map and Jetski. The first team to make it to the island wins an Invincibility card. So does the first team to defeat the kidnappers. If they're the same team, they get two per person. Last team to get there who did not catch the kidnappers will be eliminated.

Teams:

Nathan and Madison A.

Paul and Ryan

Florence and Avery

Lauren and Chelsa

Elizabeth and Chef (Chef: I'm not getting eliminated anyway.)

(Cut to lake)

(Paul and Ryan drive out onto the lake) **(AN: Drive?Ski?)**

Paul: Where should we go from here?

Ryan: Southeast.

Paul: How do you know that?

Ryan: I've got a map? Maybe?

Paul:(Sigh)Okay.

(Drives off)

Nathan: Look out for that rock!

Madison A.: (Swerves out of the way) I can see, you know.

Nathan: Sorry.

Florence: Which way should I go?

Avery: Starboard! The other way is a patch of rocks!

Florence: You mean left?(Swerves left toward rocks)

Avery: I meant RIGHT! RIGHT! (Florence crashes into the rocks, stranding the Jetski) Starboard is _right_! Why did you go _left_?

Florence: Well, excuse me if I don't know nautical terms.

Chef: Looks like you're out.

Avery: Shut up, Chef!

(Chef chuckles)

(Paul and Ryan speed by)

Paul: Sayanara, suckers!

(Chef revves up the Jet Ski but it doesn't work)

Chef: What the?(He jumps off the Jet Ski... onto a hidden pile of rocks) Oh, come on!

Avery: That's Karma...

(Cut to ransom island)

Chris (On video camera) Ryan and Paul came here first. Thankfully, the kidnappers haven't noticed.

(Cut to Ryan)

Ryan: Okay. We need to capture the kidnappers first.

Paul: Okay. I've got a plan. Say... I wonder where Lauren and Chelsea are...

(Cut to camp)

Lauren: Do you think my blue swimsuit or my red one is better?

Chelsea: (thinks) Red. More Griffindor-ry.

(Cut to ransom island)

Tierney: When we get the ransom, I'm going to be soooooo rich!

Madison L. : What? You did nothing! _I'm_ going to be rich.

Tierney: No, I am!

Madison L. : I am!

Tierney:I am!

Madison L. : I am!

Tierney:I am!

Paul: (drops net): Neither of you are!

Ryan: (Nails down stakes to secure net) That's what comes when you're mean and selfish!

(Ryan and Paul rip the door off of Chris's cage)

Chris: Thanks, guys!

(Nathan and Madison A. pull up and tie up the criminals.)

(Chris with the four campers)

Chris: Congratulations! You have snagged safety for yourselves. You get to use your invinciblity card to skip the next challenge!

Paul: Kickin'!

Ryan: Sweet!

(Madison A. and Nathan kiss)

(Chef,Elizabeth, Avery, and Florence arrive)

Chris: Oh, look. The calvary. An eternity too late.

-------------------------------------

(Lauren And Chelsea leave)

Chelsea: Good bye, good friends!

Lauren: Whatever.

-------------------------------------

Chris: Next time on Total Drama Reality:

_With seven campers left, it's almost too dramatic to be shown on television._

Chris: _Almost..._

_Come back for the most dramatic episode yet on_

Chris:

Total

Drama

Reality!

**(An: Some misspelling was necessary) **


	13. Video games killed the TV show host

(Chris on the Dock of Shame)

Chris: There are only seven contestants left, so we're going to make it more dramatic than ever. We're going to knock people who don't complete the challenges off.

See what happens next on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

(Three campers with Chris)

Chris: Avery, Forence, and Elizabeth, you have to stay on the island while the others can leave.

(Paul, Ryan, Nathan, and Madison A. walk onto a boat)

Ryan: Bye, guys!

(Elizabeth mouths 'bye guys' sarcasticly)

(Boat leaves.)

Chris: You guys are gonna have to play video games until someone quits.

(Opens room full of video games and Tvs.)

Chris: First quitter goes off the island.

Elizabeth: Why are you all about 'last person standing' games?

Chris: Because they boost the ratings. Why else?

(Contestants get into the video game shack)

(Chris locks the door)

Chris: The cameras will be watching you. When you want to quit, wave a little white flag held convenitatly near the door, or just fall asleep.

(Elizabeth picks up a controller)

Elizabeth: Well, let's start!

(Plays Madden NFL)

Chris (to audience): It'll work. They'll be crying for mercy in a few hours.

(Three hours later)

(Avery's stomach growls)

Avery: Boy, I'm hungry.

Florence: I'm starving! What's for breakfast?

Chris: What breakfast? (Laughs) Oh, you mean _my_ breakfast? I'm having bacon, eggs, and a fruit salad.

Elizabeth: If that door weren't locked, I would have killed you by now.

Chris: That's why it's locked. Have a nice, food-free, brain-melting day.

Elizabeth: Why you good-for-nothing (Explicit)! You open that (Explicit) door, or I (Explicit)ing _swear_ I will kick your (Explicit)!

Chris; Ah, pineapple...

Elizabeth: (Explicit)! Let me out!

Avery: Cool it, girl! Geez...

Elizabeth: You're no (Explicit)ing better! (Starts hitting Avery upside the head with video game consoles.) (Explicit) you (Explicit)ing (Explicit)!

Avery: Ow! Cool it- Ow! Come on! Ow!

Chris: My money's on Avery giving up.

(Avery grabs a TV screen and blocks her, knocking her to the ground.)

Chris: I don't think we're getting the deposit back on that TV. A shame, too.

(Avery drops the TV on her, pinning her to the ground.)

Chris: I'm not sure the waiver covers that, either. Does it?

(Chef looks at some papers and nods.)

Chris: Good. I was worried about lawsuits for a second. Then again, we do have all their lawyers.

(Cut to lawyers tied up in the supply shed)

(back to fight)

(Elizabeth throws off the TV and picks up a pair of Wii Nunchuks.)

Avery: The name isn't supposed to be taken literally!

(Elizabeth attacks him, but Avery grabs her arms, ties them behind her back with the Nunchucks, and shoves a flag into her bonds. She tries to wriggle out, making it look like she's waving the flag.

Chris: It looks like we have a loser.

(Guards grab Elizabeth and drag her onto the Dock of Shame)

(Avery eats Chris's breakfast while Chris is laughing his head off at Elizabeth being carted off in a straitjacket.)

Straitjacket count: ^3

Chris: I suppose this is why everyone adores camp.

Avery(mouth full): That and th' food.

Chris(Glares at Avery):After Chef brings me another round of bacon, we'll get ready to rock the house again.

See you next time on

Total

Drama

Reality!


	14. Top Six

(Chris walks onto the Dock of Shame)

Chris: We are now down to six contestants. Give a round of applause for Paul, Ryan, Nathan, Madison A, Avery and Florence. The winner will get one million top six runners up will come back for next season. See what haapens next on

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

(Cut to mess hall)

Chris: Today is the last round of challenges. The veiwers will vote for their favorite character. HOWEVER, you can gain extra votes by winning the challenges will seperate the winners from the wimps.

First Place: +6 votes

Second Place: +5 votes

Third Place:+4 votes

Fourth Place:+3 votes

Fifth Place:+2 votes

Last Place:+1 votes

(Cut to challenge site)

Chris: Your first challenge is to shuffle through all this fanmail until you find one addressed to you from your parents. There is only one addressed to each of you.

(Everyone shuffles through mail quickly)

(Paul looks at an envelope)

Paul: I've got one, but it's not for me. (tosses onto mailpile)

(Others jump onto it, and Paul uses the time to search for his.

Madison A.:(Grabs letter) Hey! This is for Chris!

Paul:(holds up his letter, smiling) Told you it wasn't for me.

Chris: Nice work. (Reads letter aloud)

_Dear Paul, _

_I am very proud of you for making it this far in the competition. All of us back in Indiana wish you luck in the competition. Momma wants you to know that she's been cheering for you all this time. Sorry about that faulty pack of sleeping pills. Your brother thought waking you up early might be a nice joke. Too bad we didn't know about it __before__ it got there._

Chris: So that's why you woke up early!

(Paul grins sheepishly)

**(FLASHBACK)**

_( 3:00 AM)_

_Chris: There is __**no way **__Paul wakes up this early. A guy would have to be totally-_

_Paul (grinning): -Obsessed?_

_(Chris's jaw drops.)_

_Chris: Okay. I give up. Why do you wake up so early?_

_Paul: You mean you sleep?_

_(Chris looks really, really, scared)_

_Paul: Kidding. _

_(Chris looks relieved)_

_Paul: I did that just to annoy you._

_Chris (disbelieving): You woke up at __**3:00 AM**__ to annoy me?_

_Paul: Yep._

_Chris (impressed): Good job. (Shakes Paul's hand.)_

**(END FLASHBACK)**

_Anyways, good luck! We'll see you next week!_

_Dad_

(Chris looks up and sees Ryan. **AN:Contradictory, maybe.**)

(Ryan,Nathan, and Madison A. have envelopes)

Ryan's letter:

_Dear Ryan:_

_You have been doing so well! We knew you would get this far! Too bad Damien was trying to hog up all the spotlight. You guys got rid of him, though, and that's what matters. Hope you win the million bucks! We're all counting on you!_

_Kudos!_

_Sarah_

_P.S. Did that bribery work?_

(Awkward silence)

Chris: Lets go over to the next challenge, shall we?

(Switch to hog-tied Chris and Ryan)

Paul: What bribery?(Grabs mace)

Chris: Ryan said he would double my salary if I fixed the votes!

**(NEVER-BEFORE SEEN CLIP)**

_"And...Action!" The camera girl says loudly.  
"You couldn't have said that...oh, I don't know...quietly?!" Rye complains from his seat on his bed.  
"I could have but I didn't want to, now speak!" Rye rolls his eyes.  
"Rachel, you need to learn how to use your inside voice," He said.  
"Okay, okay! Whatever! Can we just get this over with? There's a new smoothie place I want to try!"  
"And I assume you're broke?"  
"Yes now begin with tape!"  
"Okay, um...Hi, I'm Rye and I think you should pick me because__**...I could double your paycheck...and stuff," **__Rye begins.  
"Tell them about how __**you can turn people against each other!"  
**__"What are you talking about?"  
"Remember all those people who you tu-"  
"I know! I know! Geez take a hint...okay, where was I? Ah, yes. Um...I can do stuff...and __**again, I can increase your paycheck, and as Rachel, ever so nicely said, I can turn people against each other which in return will add drama which means better ratings which means you'll be making a lot of money even if I don't give it to you."  
**__"Cut and Print! That was perfect baybay! Cut the tape!"  
"...Uh, you're controlling the camera..." Cuts to static._

**(END CLIP)**

(Chris glares at Paul)

Chris: This is breaking your contract!You can't do this to me as the TV host!

Paul: Actually, the contract says that the campers can change the TV host at any time. Section five, paragraph four.

Chris: Who came up with that?

(Chef smiling and waving)

Chris: Next time, I'M writing the contract.

Paul: Too late. Who wants Chef as the temporary TV host?

(Everyone except Chris and Ryan raises hands.

Chris: You can't do this to me!

Paul: I think we just did.

Chef: As the new TV host of Total Drama Reality, I declare that Ryan is immediatly given last place.

Paul: I wish! Unfortunately, Ryan has to get the same chance as everybody else. Let him go.

Chef: Florence, Avery, you guys haven't finished the challenge. GO! GO!

(Avery pulls out his letter)

(Florence frowns)

(Avery frowns, then kisses Florence.)

Chef: That's kinda unessesary.

Avery: I'm last place with her.

(Florence swoons)

**(CONFESSIONAL)**

Florence: That was...Wow! He basicly gave up a million bucks for me!

**(END CONFESSIONAL)**

**(CONFESSIONAL)**

Avery: She's worth it. Anyways, viewers, do not vote for me gettting a million bucks! I'm begging you! I couldn't stand leaving her.

**(END CONFESSIONAL)**

(Next Challenge)

Chef: You must face your darkest fears inside that room. Ryan, you're up first.

(Ryan walks into a room full of flying monkeys looking at him. He turns around and the door closes shut.)

(Switch to Chef. Screams from inside the room)

Chef: He has to stand three minutes in there.

Ryan: I'm BEGGING YOU! LET ME OUT!

Chef: If you insist... one minute, twenty-four seconds.

(Paul walks into the room. The lights go out and the door closes. Paul starts breathing deeply. A sound effect evil laugh scares the wits out of him.)

Paul:AAAAAHHHH!!

Chef: Nearlyyy... 2:25.

(Paul stays in for the remainder, then Chef lets him run out, screaming.)

Paul: I'm okay.

(next two campers go)

(Screams)

Chris: We seem to have four campers left. see you next time on

Total

Drama

Reality!


	15. The Season Finale

(Chef walks out onto the Dock of Shame)

Chris: Hey! That's my job! Let me go!

Chef: Last time on Total Drama Reality...

**(FLASHBACK)**

_Dear Ryan:_

_You have been doing so well! We knew you would get this far! Too bad Damien was trying to hog up all the spotlight. You guys got rid of him, though, and that's what matters. Hope you win the million bucks! We're all counting on you!_

_Kudos!_

_Sarah_

_P.S. Did that bribery work?_

_(Awkward silence)_

_Chris: Lets go over to the next challenge, shall we?_

_(Switch to hog-tied Chris and Ryan)_

_Paul: What bribery?(Grabs mace)_

_Chris: Ryan said he would double my salary if I fixed the votes!_

_**(CLIP)**_

_"And...Action!" The camera girl says loudly.  
"You couldn't have said that...oh, I don't know...quietly?!" Rye complains from his seat on his bed.  
"I could have but I didn't want to, now speak!" Rye rolls his eyes.  
"Rachel, you need to learn how to use your inside voice," He said.  
"Okay, okay! Whatever! Can we just get this over with? There's a new smoothie place I want to try!"  
"And I assume you're broke?"  
"Yes now begin with tape!"  
"Okay, um...Hi, I'm Rye and I think you should pick me because__**...I could double your paycheck...and stuff," **__Rye begins.  
"Tell them about how __**you can turn people against each other!"  
**__"What are you talking about?"  
"Remember all those people who you tu-"  
"I know! I know! Geez take a hint...okay, where was I? Ah, yes. Um...I can do stuff...and __**again, I can increase your paycheck, and as Rachel, ever so nicely said, I can turn people against each other which in return will add drama which means better ratings which means you'll be making a lot of money even if I don't give it to you."  
**__"Cut and Print! That was perfect baybay! Cut the tape!"  
"...Uh, you're controlling the camera..." Cuts to static._

_**(END CLIP)**_

**(END FLASHBACK)**

Chef: Now, I'm the TV host! With six campers left on the island, the drama heats up even further on

Total

Drama

Reality!

Chris: Let me out! Anybody? Hello?

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think it's plain to see

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (same as last)

(whistling beat)

Chef: Ryan, since you stayed in the scare room for the shortest amount of time, you end up in fourth place.

Ryan: You can't do this to me! (Dragged away)

Chef:(grinning) Wanna bet? So, that leaves Paul, Nathan, and Madison A. Since we only have three contestants left, we only need two more challenges to determine a winner.

(Challenge site)

Chef: Time for a-

Chris: Time for a pop quiz!

Chef: How-

Chris: We got a message from the network that shows that Paul forgot something.

Paul: And that would be...

Chris: To read the fine print. It says right here that section five, paragraph four was nullified by the network.

Nathan: You guys find loopholes fast, don't you?

Chris: Yep. So, as I was saying... You guys don't like pop quizzes, right?

Madison: Right.

Chris: Too bad. (Laughs)This quiz will test your memory. You have ten pictures in front of you. You need to find which episode out of these they belong to. Episodes in question:

#1: Meet the Campers

#2: Football, Football, Football!

#3: Of TV and Potato Chips

#4:Wacky Races

#5: A Skeleton in the Closet

#6:Camp Wars

#7: When in Camp

#8: Ransom? GASP!

#9: Video Games killed the TV Show Host

#10: Top Six

Chris: Go!

(Campers scramble into position)

(Paul shoves a bungee cord picture into slot #3)

(Madison A. looks at a tiger picture and puts it with #5)

(Five minutes later)

Chris: Paul is done!

(Madison and Nathan scramble around for a second)

Chris: Nathan is done! We have our final competitors.

(Madison frowns)

Nathan: You can still win! They'll vote for you!

(Madison smiles)

(Final obstacle course)

Chris: You've gotta sprint to the monkey bars, swing across them, then head up the cliff. When you get there, grab a hanglider and glide to the boat out there. Take off the hanglider and swim to shore. Grab a go-kart and drive up the mountain road to Chef, get out, and then sprint to the finish. Understand?

(Both contestants nod)

Chris: On your mark, get set... GO!

(They start running)

(Paul swings across. Nathan swings across)

(Nathan reaches the hangliders first and grabs one, knocking Paul's off the cliff.)

Chris: Guess you're swimming.

(Paul dives in and doesn't come up)

(Nathan is hangliding)

(Dramatic music while looking at the water)

(Paul jumps out of the lake right next to the boat and climbs in.)

Nathan (surpised): What the ****?

Paul: (grinning) I'm in the Youth Marines, man. (Jumps off the boat again)

(Nathan lands and jumps, starts swimming)

(Paul gets out of the water and runs for a go-kart)

(Nathan gets out)

(Paul starts driving up the cliff)

(Nathan gets in a car and drives)

(Top of cliff)

(Paul jumps out)

(Nathan jumps out)

(Paul sprints for the finish, and past teamates from TDR start cheering)

(Chris does a head count)

Chris: Where's Elizabeth?

Mysterious female voice: Ah-ahahah-ah-ahahah!

(Elizabeth swings on a vine and jumps off, beating Paul to the finish line)

Elizabeth (To Paul): In your FACE! I beat you!

Paul: What? How?

Elizabeth: I used a Jetski from the kidnapper episode.

(Chris shrugs)

Chris: That works. Elizabeth wins!

(Cheer)

Chris (to viewers): Cast your votes for your favorite character out of these:

Elizabeth: + 6 votes

Paul: +5 Votes

Nathan: +5 Votes

Madison: +4 Votes

Ryan: +3 Votes

Avery: +2 Votes

Florence;+2 Votes

**(AN: It's on my Profile)**

Chris: See your votes on

Total

Drama

Island!

**(AN: PLEASE READ IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)**

**(The 3 past votes for Avery will not count unless the voters come forward and give me a message, either by review or or Private M. Thank You)**


	16. Casa Del Losers

(Chris struggles with camera)

Chris: How do you turn this thing on?

Intern: Uh, Chris?

Chris: Yeah?

Intern: It's already on.

Chris: Oh! (Aims camera at himself) Hi, everybody, and welcome to Casa Del Losers, where we wait for the fans to vote for their favorite character. However, it hasn't been going so well. We've found that 50% of the votes are for Avery, when he SPECIFICLYasked _not_to be voted for. But never mind that. We need more votes, people! (looks around) Confidentially, we only have six votes counted so far. Also, I'm pretty surprised that none of you have voted for Nathan, Florence, or Elizabeth. Anyways, let's get on with our second to last episode - I hope - of

Total

Drama

Reality!

( Plays theme song)

Hi Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

Now I think the answer is plain to see **(Yes, I know, we messed up the lyrics before. Oh well.)**

I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun

So pack your bags cause I've already won

I'm coming up, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

'Cause I wanna be famous!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nahnah

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

(whistling beat)

(Zoom in on Casa Del Losers)

Elizabeth (Yelling at Paul): OH no you did NOT just call me a hothead!

Paul: Case in point, woman!

Elizabeth: Ugh! You're so annoying!

Paul: Then why are you blushing?

Elizabeth: RRRGHH!!!! (Grabs wooden chair and smashes it over his head.)

*PAUSE*

Chris: On behalf of all the members of the network, I suggest we roll that again in slow-motion!

(Ode to Joy plays as the clip runs again in slow motion)

Elizabeth:RrrrrrRrrrrrRGggggHhhhhHhhhh! (grabs chair)

(Paul slowly realizes what she's going to do and reels back for the hit)

(Chair makes contact, splinters fly out and the chair snaps. Paul winces and waits it out.)

(You can hear the crew laughing.)

Chris: Oh man! That was hilarious!

*ROLL*

(Paul in a heap on the floor, Elizabeth bends over him)

Elizabeth: ****! I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?

Paul (rolls eyes): What do you think?

Elizabeth(close to laughing) : Obviously not enough to make it serious.

(Paul gets up, and the breakfast bell rings.)

*PAUSE*

Chris: The camera seems to be running out of power, and it's the only camera we've got. -I told you guys to bring more cameras, but no...- Send in those votes and we'll see you next time on

Total

Drama

Realit- (Camera powers down)


	17. COME ON, PEOPLE!

(Chris walks out on Dock of Shame)

Chris: I really need people to vote for their favorite person! We're running out of air time. Go to Laughingstock1's profile and vote! NOW!


	18. And the Winner Is

(Chris walks onto a stage, dramatic music plays)

(Shows past pictures:)

_(Paul driving off cliff)_

_(Cabin exploding)_

_(Madison L. Running)_

(Chris walks up to the microphone)

Chris: Now it's time to honor the canidates for tonight's prize. First up is one of our toughest girls ever on the show... She fought hard. She was tough. She never gave up! Let's hear some noise for...Elizabeth!

(Elizabeth walks onstage to cheers)

Chris: Elizabeth nearly didn't make it. Madison L. attempted to take the cake by appearing twice, but Elizabeth stopped her and made up for lost time fast. She was one tough cookie, and quickly inpressed some of the tougher guys. She was taken off after being pinned under a flatscreen TV and tied up. She made a return right before Paul was about to cross the finish line, and landed in first. Give her a round of applause!

( Audience roars it's approval)

(Elizabeth walks off)

Chris: Next up is the Youth Marine that stuck it out. Give it up for... Paul!

(Paul walks up and waves at the cheering audience)

Chris: Paul had his game on from the start. After a bumpy relationship with Raquel, Paul became the Sharks team leader for his strength, courage, and stick-with-it-ness. During the final race, he freaked us all with his mad swimming skills. He would have won, too, if Elizabeth hadn't stolen the show. Nevertheless, he was the toughest of the tough. Give him a hand, folks!

(Cheers as he walks off-stage.)

Chris:Our next competitor got to the final three and pushed it to the end. Come on up here, Nathan!

(Nathan jumps up and runs onto the stage)

Chris: Nathan was hardly noticed until the later episodes, but he made his debut by winning the Roman chariot race and then by dropping a flatscreen onto his fellow competitor, Elizabeth. As subtle as he was, Madison A. noticed him, and the two struck up a relationship. Speaking of Madison L., come up here!

(Madison L. runs into Nathan's arms. The two kiss, and the crowd cheers.)

Chris: Madison A. was another dark horse in the competion. A new-age hippie, she attracted the attention of Nathan as much as he attracted hers. She was also one of the four competiors that saved me from the fiend that shared her name. We can add another romantic relationship to the charts. Give them a cheer!

(They walk off as the audience cheers.)

Chris: Our next competitor....uhhh..... was not the most popular among the fans. He won't come up here, either. Uhh... give a hand for Ryan!

(Boos)

(Ryan walks up carefully)

(Someone hits him with a tomato)

(He runs away, but they pelt him with vegetables.)

Chris: He's not that bad!

(Someone throws a tomato at Chris.)

Chris: Fine. Ryan was a competitor who cheated to stay in the game but was one of the best fighters. He defeated Chef Hatchet once.

(Boos)

Chris: Fine! Next competitors. Avery and Florence!

(They come up and the crowd cheers.)

Ryan: They get the cheering?

(someone hits him in the face with a squash)

Ryan: You'll be hearing from my lawyer!

Chris: -ahem- Avery and Florence were a late couple. Avery was one of the biggest and strongest of the campers, while Florence was the beauty of the bunch. A round of applause?

(Cheers)

Chris: You all made a good run for the money, but, -thankfully for our budget- there can only be one winner. (Chef hands him an envelope, and super-dramatic music plays) And the winner of Total Drama Reality, the trophy, -which looks just like me- and the one million dollars is...(Struggles with envelope)...is.....-I can't open this thing- ....is....(Pauses for a second) Does anybody have a letter opener?

(Chef rolls his eyes and rips the letter in half.)

Chris: Great. Now, you ripped both the winner's name AND the million-dollar check in half.

Everybody: WHAT?

Chris: Gotcha, didn't I?(Pulls out the real letter) The winner is... Paul!

Paul: What? Me?

Chris: Yep. You ended up with a total of seven votes, because of your near-victory and the fact that two people voted for you. -The producer tried to vote for you, but we decided that didn't count-

Paul: Awesome! (Walks up to take the suitcase of money)

(Hands money out)

Paul: 50,000 dollars for Chef, and $20,000 each for my non-cheating competitors.

Chris: How about me?

Paul: (Eyes Chris) $5,000.

(Chris frowns)

Paul: Hey, I'm gonna help you with the next season.

(Laughingstock walks on-stage)

Laugh: Hey, Chris. I think I OWE you something.

Chris: Heh, heh. See you all next season on

Total

Drama

(Puts on Trenchcoat and Fedora)

Spy!


End file.
